Cross Balance

Two way communication

Before continuing on to other aspects of behaviour
and how we relate to each other,
I have found it interesting to consider how we use our faculties
in one particular and important aspect of everyday life
 - carrying out a conversation with another person.
When two people discuss something,
one person should concentrate on speaking,
and the other on listening to the other's message.

Then the reverse should happen:

They will, of course,
both have to be thinking about what they are saying or hearing,
so as to understand and be understood.
But the thinking will play a subordinate role:

Also,
the speaker should be observing the reaction of the other
to see if he/she is being understood.

Both can be doing something physical
that may be related or unrelated to what is being discussed.
The way this is done is important to support what is spoken.
A person who says he has time to help, but acts impatiently
is putting over a conflicting message.

The trouble is,
many of us are often concentrating on the wrong faculties
when we try to communicate.
For example,
we may be trying to put over a message
in a thoughtless and outwardly misleading way,
while the other person is not taking any notice,
concentrating on what he/she is going to say next
- and showing he is not listening!

So -
most of the time we should be operating in all faculties,
 but with an appropriate one dominant:

Breakdown in communications may come when, for example,
nobody speaks
(though there is a place for both parties to be quiet and think!):

Or when  everybody speaks, few think, and nobody listens!

I could go on.
But this is enough to give an idea of how communication can be represented
by this crosswise presentation of the faculties we exercise.
How effective our communication is
will depend on our personalities
and how well we can speak, listen, think and act.